so. to continue...
472_4.jpg
now, contrary to popular belief, we don't actually blow things up.
we make things to be blown up and are eager participants.
you need an explosives licence to blow things up legally and I don't have one, which many people consider to be a good thing.
However.
if you want to start a fire you need 3 things.
1. fuel
2. oxygen
3. an ignition source.
now, item 1 is freely available, most things will burn if you try hard enough , but the key thing here is volatility. it's a lot easier to ignite a room full of vaporised LPG than it is to ignite a room full of bricks.
I suggest the following.
Set up a coil with a spark plug and associated wiring as any decent 4x4 owner would to generate spark.
Go into a room with 200l of diesel , 6 48kg bottles of LPG and a heap of wood and other lighter flammables such as old clothes and annoying employees.
Place the 200l can in the centre of the room, take the caps off and pack the wood and other flammables around it.
annoying employees that complain should be beaten until they are quiet.
take a pistol and plant a couple of holes about half way up the 200l diesel drum. it won't ignite, it's not the movies.
allow the fuel to run all over the wood and other flammables (annoying employees that are complaining may need to be stapled to the ground at this time)
open 2 of the bottles of LPG and step outside, keeping the door closed.
let the bottles empty
quickly run inside (hold your breath) and open the other 4 and get out, close the door and retreat to a safe distance.
this is fuel.
item 2, Oxygen, is . fortunately, not yet supplied by the government and there should be plenty and for free for the time being.
now, hopefully by this time you've put the spark plug rig in the same room as the other stuff, and put the battery and some very long wires to it at a safe distance , because that's your ignition source. Now, you might think that would be obvious, but I suspect that many Eastern Cape farm workers might not have worked that out, and be standing 100m away up the hill with the spark plug in their hand , and will then spend the next 16 years of their lives explaining how it would work better if you put 2 stroke oil in the diesel.
anyway.
generate a spark while the 4 LPG cylinders are still venting.
the resulting ball of flame should be very satisfying.
wipe the remnants of your eyebrows and hair from your head and face, and head back to the (now) al fresco dining area.
the coals should be ready in about 30 minutes, so pack your rooster with wors and tjoppies!
